


bygone

by palladionaigis



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/M, Heavy Angst, My Ryoji wanted to get hit with some good angst so I am here to provide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palladionaigis/pseuds/palladionaigis
Summary: She will never forget his name.(( A Valentine's gift for @suaveassassin1 on twitter. ))





	bygone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suaveassassin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suaveassassin/gifts).



> A gift piece, as always, for my Ryoji for Valentine's Day. She asked to be hit with some good canon angst, so here's to this. (Also yes, I totally looked up February 2010 calendar to see what day of the week Valentine's Day was and it happened to work out really well LOL)

It's Sunday.

It's cold, too. The frigid chill bites through the cracks between the walls and the windows, seeping in and making her shiver under her sheets. She feels more lethargic than usual today. She'd been somewhat okay at school yesterday, but now she just felt awful. It had been getting worse, too. Ever since the 31st, her body had just been tired. It'd be like she had a fever because of the chills and the weakness, but every time she'd check her temperature, there was nothing but just... normal.

Nothing was normal. Nothing was okay.

She rolls over and groans slightly. Her joints ache, so do her muscles. She threw on an extra blanket last night, but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. Her eyes catch the calendar on the wall. Maybe that's why she feels awful.

Three months ago, she had expected today to be everything and more. After everything that had happened with Shinjiro, she had expected it to be harder to fall in love again, but Ryoji waltzed into her life and was everything she ever hoped to have. She knew it had been nothing more than a childish hope at first - the thought of finding someone who would love her, appreciate her, who she could give her everything to and be theirs was dashed as soon as her parents died ten years ago, and then dashed again earlier last year when Tartarus appeared in her life.

So, she closes her eyes.

She closes her eyes in the hopes that she might dream of what she wanted for today three months ago.

February 14th. Valentine's Day.

If things had been normal, she's sure that by February, she and Ryoji probably would have been 'going steady' for a while. She's not sure exactly how long. They'd never talked about it, or had never gotten to. Today being a Sunday, she's sure they would have made time to see each other, if he hadn't started the day here already (Mitsuru would have killed her if so, but it wouldn't be the first time he had been in her room. She'd be lying if she told herself that for a brief second, she didn't imagine what it might be like to wake up in his arms today of all days.) She would have gotten up early, asked Yukari to help her with her hair and picking a cute outfit, she might have even dared to take the time to put on makeup of all things - yes, even with her tomboy history. Who knows what kind of date they would have planned, too. She wonders briefly if he'd get her roses before she realizes he definitely would have, he was that type of person.

She thinks that she probably would have wanted to do something romantic for Valentine's Day, especially at her age now, and that was who Ryoji was on principle. It made sense for her imagination to naturally progress and let her not-quite-doze in the early Sunday hours, dreaming of a quiet and intimate meet curled into the single side of a booth at Chagall, watching him sip at an iced coffee and laughing at every lame pickup line he'd use (despite that each and every one worked on her like a charm). She could imagine that afterwards, they'd probably walk Pawlownia hand in hand, maybe even roam the streets doing the same, she could kiss him goodbye outside the dorm at the end of the day... two high schoolers in love like they could be... _should be_ , she thinks, and curses their odds. Ryoji shouldn't have suffered. He was far too kind, and didn't deserve the inner pain that his true identity brought him. She wishes now that she'd told him that more often.

Above all, she just wishes she wouldn't have to suffer alone. The others cannot know of this - she wants them to be happy, wants them to just live. It's better off they're happy like they are now while she goes through this. She knows they would be mad at her if they knew - if they could remember - but it's an empty hope, and the feeling of her body just wasting as she watches it happen from the sidelines is like a comforting lull now. Like it pulls her deeper and deeper, giving her just enough of a chance to breathe and function, until it starts pulling her brain into darkness. Or maybe she's falling asleep?

She peels her eyes open again. Ryoji isn't here, despite the sweet dream she just woke from insinuating he was. It's still cold, but she's starting to wake up a little now. She's not hungry, but knows she'll have to eat so that tonight, the weird lightheaded feeling doesn't get worse. She'll peel herself out of bed in a minute.

For now, she just keeps sitting there, laying and imagining.


End file.
